Dr. Angela Hasty
Self discovery that improves your life
Psychological Services
Psychological Services
 
Grief

If you are grieving...


your life is changing and it may be difficult to simply catch your breath. You may be feeling waves of confusion, sadness, anger or anxiety. Although we know that people will die and we too will die one day, losing someone we love always seems to catch us by surprise and shake us to our core. You have no experience with this and no coping skills strong enough to answer this challenge. Why didn’t anyone prepare you for this experience?


We live in a society where after losing someone we are expected to be sad and unable to function - but just for little while - five days max! After these five days, you are expected to return to life as you knew it, get back to work, be the person everyone knows you to be. After a few weeks to a few months (if you are lucky) you should be “over it.” You should no longer need to talk about how devastated you feel or how much you miss your beloved...


...but you cannot. It is difficult to perform the superficial niceties required for social engagement. This is grief and it is unlike a cold or broken leg from which you expect to recover. This is trauma - where there are no words to describe how powerless you feel and how much pain you are experiencing as you struggle to understand what is happening to you. 


While there are no words to describe the pain you feel, sharing about your loved one, expressing how much you miss them, pondering how to survive the yearning and sadness and eventually asking “where will I go from here?” are important aspects to be contemplated if you want to survive emotionally and psychologically.


Although it seems unimaginable, there can be a silver lining in this very dark cloud of grief.  If you choose to, you can now see with your heart. You are acutely aware that you are a feeling being and you can become more aware of the pain of others. With the right people, your conversations can become deeper and more meaningful and you will take less for granted. You understand that life is precious - and finite.  You are living and breathing inside sacred space.


I would consider it an honor to work with you during this time of pain and sorrow and help guide you through this transformational time in your life.

When Great Trees Fall


by Dr. Maya Angelou


When great trees fall,
rocks on distant hills shudder,
lions hunker down
in tall grasses,
and even elephants
lumber after safety.

When great trees fall
in forests,
small things recoil into silence,
their senses
eroded beyond fear.

When great souls die,
the air around us becomes
light, rare, sterile.
We breathe, briefly.
Our eyes, briefly,
see with
a hurtful clarity.
Our memory, suddenly sharpened,
examines,
gnaws on kind words
unsaid,
promised walks
never taken.

Great souls die and
our reality, bound to
them, takes leave of us.
Our souls,
dependent upon their
nurture,
now shrink, wizened.
Our minds, formed
and informed by their
radiance,
fall away.
We are not so much maddened
as reduced to the unutterable ignorance
of dark, cold
caves.

And when great souls die,
after a period peace blooms,
slowly and always
irregularly.  Spaces fill
with a kind of
soothing electric vibration.
Our senses, restored, never
to be the same, whisper to us.
They existed.  They existed.
We can be.  Be and be
better.  For they existed.                    

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